The Frame of 10 years that brings in 2014!

I have always heard of 10 years cycles economically, biologically, financially and otherwise but I never felt as if it applied to me until November 30th, 2013. Stan died that day. He came into our lives 10 years earlier in November 2003.

His demanding, full and joyful life and his sudden devastating death frames the last ten years of my life given he marked his presence all over it. He demanded attention for the entire 10 years he graced us with his regal presence and had the entire household, including his younger brother Caesar, all wrapped around his graceful paws i.e. if Stan was in a bad mood the entire household was on notice to stay out of his space and when he wanted to play, we all dropped everything to play. That was just the way it always was from Day 1.

And the truth is (I am not ashamed to admit it) Stan held the family together during our most difficult years when my Husband and I almost lost our way. We were both afraid to make any permanent decisions since the first silent question on both our minds was always "And Stan?".

In embracing the length and breadth of Stan's life during his last two months with me after his multiple strokes which left him blind and confused within 24 hours, I was forced to look back at the highs and lows of my own life during the last ten years. I started this ten year frame in a new house on the water, in Florida (boasting Enrique Iglesias as our neighbor) at the height of my Husband's business (later to become the "height" of life/work lessons that will forever scar us both but also brought us great wisdom) and I end this ten year cycle in a new home in Dubai overlooking the Burj Khalifa about to begin some amazing new adventures. 

And in between all of this, I moved to Trinidad, I then moved to Tobago to save my soul,  I experienced my lowest moments of utter darkness during which I truly thought I would not make it out the tunnel, I encountered breath-taking acts of kindness and humanity, I witnessed unbelievable hatred and trials, I lost my father, I found profound beautiful friendships, I had lots of money and I had no money,  I developed unquestionable faith in God, I lived my dreams out loud, I created a Foundation that I know will change the world, I discovered my gift, talent and life purpose and most importantly in this decade I FOUND AND BECAME ME. What a decade right? However I have to wonder if I would survive and thrive through another decade like this last one?

And as I sit here on the edge of 2014's awakening, I know with certainty I have no idea what the next 10 years will bring i.e. I have no clue where I will be living nor am I sure what I may be doing. It is my unique journey in "becoming". 

What I do know if I have any say in the next Frame is that my soul will wander geography as much as possible, it will try to connect and conspire with as many souls from all walks of life as it can, it will pollinate and give birth to immeasurable new ideas and adventures, it will sharpen it's curious nature and learn something different every single day, it will comfortably hug life's darkest lessons understanding it's significance in the soul's growth, it will love profoundly, laugh heartedly, dance wildly, and occupy to the brim the absolute length and breadth of the space and time given.    

On Dec 1, 2013, less than 24 hours of my burying Stan on his favorite beach in Tobago ( we walked almost every day there) I hosted the first ever Social Enterprise Hive in TnT. Very few knew of my profound loss and as any warrior I had on my shield but Marsha came up to me and looked straight and sincerely at my soul and said 'Are you holding up ok?" I lost it and had to run to the bathroom to wipe away my tears. Thanks goodness the event was happening downstairs at Medulla and very few people saw the true state of my reality that has not yet subsided.

Stan will forever be a constant reminder to me of how unconditional love and kindness, giddy tail wagging and joy around others, clear communication of intentions, sincere lingering hugs, unexpected licks, prudent observation, frequent ocean swims with my eye on the ball (not tennis balls;-))  will ensure I leave lasting footprints in this lifetime that I was once here.

During his very last days he taught me something I really never knew about myself and needed to know i.e. my deep capacity to care for others at all costs. I have so many stories in my heart but I can only chuckle really thinking about my mad flashes of lifting all 80 pounds of him into the pool with me in full work clothes swimming with him just holding his head above water. I had to let him know when he looked at me in absolute despair in those last few days that he could hold his weight on his own swimming so he needed to have faith he will also be able to walk again. Twenty four hours  before he left to become Mandela's companion ( I am sure he had  him wrapped around his paws at "woof"), I told Stan what he had been waiting to hear. I told him he could leave now and not to worry because I will always hold him in my heart. And he left the next day.      

 Life is fragile and each day a gift. I am ready to embrace my next 10 year frame. Happy New Year and Welcome 2014!